Second practice: Sirsasana Issues

Yesterday was my second practice over at my parents.

I'm a pretty much strict workout person. If there is a routine I have to do, I rarely ever cheat, and force myself to try to do a complete one. That is because I hate the thought of having it easier today because then I would almost definitely want to have it easy the other days too.

My normal Primary Series practice would be:

5 sun salutation A

5 sun salutation B

Standing postures complete

Seated postures - with only Lolasana in between legs and a full vinyasa between poses.

Finishing postures

This would usually take me about 2 hours. For the seated postures I try to do everything, but they are not perfect. I think up until Kurmasana I would do it as 'perfect' as it could be in astanga, ans I couldnt really do a good supta kurmasana - or even Kurmasana, I struggle with straightening my legs over my arms - so it stops there. I also struggle doing a perfect Bhujapidasana, especially from the preparation to the actual pose, unable to contract my bandha to allow my body to lean forward seamlessly. Once settled in that pose, it is hard for me to keep my feet off the ground.

Anyway, my sirsasana issues. It continues from two days back and I think my foreboding of that pose keeps getting stronger. I youtubed like crazy and found out that maybe my base alignment is all WRONG. My wrists, my hands, my elbow width. So yesterday in practice had me trying to do a few sirsasana, trying to get the feeling of shoulders lifting, wrists perpendicular, etc. It was crazy. I felt demotivated, but I try to tell myself that this is the point of yoga - to let go of the fact that you should try this today and let it rest. Your body, when it feels like it, will make you do the perfect sirsasana, once your mind is fully able to embrace it. I just have to have faith and keep practicing.

What I adjusted yesterday was the width of my elbows. I thought that my normal sirsasanas I sort of keep them a bit closer in, so yesterday I tried it with a bigger 'pyramid base' and it was very hard for me to lift and stay.Today as I was trying ti again, and talking to my husband, I noticed my voice sounding pinched, as if I am putting too much weight on my head. It never happened before, cause I have been talking while I was on my headstand.

So instinctively I tried making the base smaller and lifting up, and it felt effortless and easier, and my voice was normal. So rejoice! I guess there is nothing wrong - or nothing wrong, much - with my sirsasana base after all. You don't know how that realization lifted off a huge weight from my shoulders. Now I can just focus on correctly stacking my trunk and legs above my head in a 90 degrees alignment.

so yay!

No practice today, except for the Bakasana and sirsasana I did just now. And the shoulder stand to prep for the headstand.

End of Year practice

Ever since I started Ashtanga Primary Series in October, I was hooked. I think I only skipped 2 classes out of the twice weekly classes I went to. I have progressed enough to a point where I now do my own ashtanga practice at home between the days where I get to go to class. My instructor is on a Christmas and new year's holiday and the last thing I did before she left was bought my own yoga towel to practice on.

I am currently using Manduka eQua towel. It's amazing. I'm VERY sweaty when I practice, and this towel kicks ass. I never slip. NEVER. And it's super long and it dries fast.

Today's practice I thought of two things:

1) My growing apprehension to do a sirsasana. It was my favorite pose ever since I nailed that one in class. I think the next day onwards I got so excited I kept doing sirsana everywhere - near the stairs, in front of my mom, before I sleep, etc. But last week I was trying to attempt raising my legs up straight all the way (I bend my knees when I raise them up), and that threw me off balance and I fell backwards. And a few times after that. After that incident, I pretty much doubt my ability to do a stable headstand again. I used to be confident on doing a headstand without having anything on my back, but now I have to have something - a wall, a bed, a chair - at my back that would anticipate me if I lost balance. That lack of confidence - mentally - threw me. I think in yoga mental strength is CRUCIAL because that mostly determines when you're ready for the pose, especially inversions. For most poses your mind is always ready but your body just isn't (like my chaturangga to upward dog transitions and my bakasana pose, more on that later) but for inversions I feel that our body can take it but our mind clamps it shut.

Today I once again fell backwards while attempting my first sirsasana. The second time, I was a bit more confident. I did it again to strengthen my mind. I NEED for myself to believe that I can do it without falling over, and that my body is strong and stable enough to carry this pose through. I have decided to chuck the idea of raising my legs straight all the way and concentrate on the fact that I CAN do a full blown unsupported sirsasana.

2) My body is getting stronger. I could see the improvements. I could lift my legs higher in Utthita Eka Padasana. I remember when I did this in my earlier yoga classes, I could barely lift it higher than knee level. And now I'm up to waist level.

My wrists don't hurt too. Amazing. In fact, they can support my body weight now. In ten full breaths. Alhamdulillah.

Will write later.

First Post: Introduction

I have been meaning to start a personal blog where I can write about my yoga adventures. I am no stranger to yoga - have been interested in it since I was a teenager - yet I still consider myself a newbie.

I was active in high school, always into sports that made me sweat buckets. I was a runner by nature; love the feeling of being a runner and what it does to you mentally afterwards. Then knee injury struck and I started cycling. While running was by nature, cycling was by choice. I love how it feels, the struggle to climb a hill and the euphoria when you succeeded. Swimming complements my cardio workout by giving me a therapeutic workout.

I started yoga 2-3 years back due to having to many injuries. Doctors cited lack of strength and flexibility, and what better than yoga to condition my body muscles?

My first taste of yoga was in Beyoga. Nini was one of the teachers, and she was awesome. Her classes were tough. I fell in love. I resisted yoga for my rehabilitation because I was addicted to the endorphin rush - but I realized that yoga was equally tough physically and mentally. I remembered the other instructors - Ken, Lila. They killed me during classes.

Then I continued with Angie, who would conduct the classes at my home. She was equally awesome, nearly making me lash out and cry with some of the vinyasas.

Currently, I am practicing Ashtanga the Primary Series. This blog is created out of my desire to talk and express myself over my current practice. I would discuss challenging poses, discuss inner humility that is so prevalent in yoga and not in other sports I do, and how yoga helps me to relink back to my faith.

I am a headscarf wearing woman who love her yoga practice. there is no confusion here.