Taksim calling

I am in Istanbul. I could only imagine before yesterday that I could be here.

 You know, I was thinking, how yoga has changed my life. I hardly ever do this reflection, but I catch myself thinking about the changes in and out, mostly when I'm faced with a situation that years ago I knew I would have freaked.

I am more calmer. Yes this is obvious. I don't know when, but I do know it's both yoga and my religion. Like I said before, yoga strengthened my religious beliefs because it really brings my attention to what I already have instead of what I could have or wanted. It's that simple. Life is here. It might be hard, or bad, or unfair, or totally awesome. Ride on it, like a wave. If it's bad right now, hang in there - someone has it worse. If it's good right now, alhamdulillah, remember that someone does not have what you have.

I eat better. You know again, I do not know how yoga influence this, but I do know that I made a lot of changes after seriously practicing yoga (and by serious I try to keep a 6x a week practice, home or classes). I worked hard to keep my body healthy that eating all the junk just counters whatever good I have done. And I don't really think twice about not having it. I tell myself that some people just dont have the luxury of eating it. But when I do get to eat food that I love, I am appreciative. Subhanallah.

 There are actually more that I could see but they all stemmed from being calm. My attitude's adjusting so well that I am so grateful to find ashtanga when I did. And also how it deepened my faith.

 Anyway, today I did the primary series. It was... weird. My concentration was so haphazard, off the rack. If I had videotaped myself I would have looked like an ADD doing yoga. I stopped mid asana to adjust the mat, I stopped and for no reason just stared into space mulling and thinking before continuing. I did not even sweat that much. Nevertheless, my garbha flowed beautifully. Alhamdulillah.

Turkmenistan

After one week of completely nothing, I started again my ashtanga. My body was STIFF without a week of yoga. I can't even do a plough pose. That was surprising.

 It started out ok, 5 surya namaska a and 3 b. Don't think that was enough cause I wasn't sweating. The standing poses were fine but my oh my my jump throughs were HORRIBLE. Didn't have enough strength in me to lift off. My garbha went well, bhuja still sucks... still relying heavily on my forehead which makes me worry about my neck. Not strong enough to jump back from bakasana. Nothing moving there.

 I'm working on opening my heart and upper back. Still sucks there. Finally managed to do a handstand against the wall.

A Week of YOGA!

Tuesday 05/15:

 I did the wonderful core salutations and the steady and confidence sequence: a lot of standing poses, half moon, warrior 2, and 3, a locust pose. Then moved on to the backbending routine I always did.

Wednesday 05/16;

 LED ashtanga. It was VERY HUMID. I felt like fainting. It was a great workout in a way that it felt like when I was training for a triathlon - happy but tired. My Garbha flowed beautifully. I finished fast because it was nearing the next class.

 Thursday 05/17:

Core salutation and hip opening sequence: lizard, low lunge, pigeon, bandha konasana, etc. Felt great. Tried LBH sequence as well. Then the normal backbending sequence. Upper back still has cement on it. Tried a few of the second series poses up to Salabhasana.

 Friday 05/18:

Mula bandha workshop. This was great. Learned about the KCC principles - knee chest chin and cobra that helps us to get the mula bandha correct. And their application in almost every poses - especially the lift off. We were mostly doing handstands - against the wall with a bolster to pad. The teacher helped me to lift off but my abs were not strong enough to hold the legs halfway. Then the half handstand to practice the tip off. Then the pushing against the wall - that was good to engage the feel of  my abs working. We also worked on pushing the chest back, rounding the chest pushing off from the earth to get that strength to lift.

Saturday 05/19:

Vinyasa based ashtanga class. It was superb! We did the funky tripod with one leg off and the prep poses are: the bakasana on forearms, the one leg off crow, the tripod headstand. Then mayurasana (which I NEARLY got, balance for a milisecond). Also did one legged Urdhva Dhanurasana... that was hard to balance! It was awesome!

Sunday 05/20:

Lift off workshop again. It was cool - practiced the lift off balance against the wall, which I did, but the disorientation really failed me. I was also to scared to do the dropback handstand as well. We practiced jump through and back using the blanket - sliding the blanket through and the slipperiness really helped in having us to use our abs and really round the back. going to do this often. Then the Bhujapidasana, titibasana and bakasana transition. I target to at least try to do a jump back from Bakasana. Can't wait to regain strength!

 Later in the evening an ashtanga workshop as well. We did the standing sequence which was tiring and then the vinyasas to go through  - I like the half lotus vinyasa. Going to try the Chakrasana roll back as well. Need more strength!

Greatest Practice... Yet

To be honest yesterday was one of the best practice ever...

 It is funny, because I didn't see it coming at all. I wasnt feeling strong; physically, emotionally, mentally. I contemplated for a long time whether I want to start practicisng because I know the work I need to do. For one and a half hour, it's all my body and breathe and focus and work - it all seemed daunting. But I gently told myself - just sun salutations at worst. Work up to standing pose if you feel like it. Or even better, up to navasana... or bandha konasana, yoga practice milestones. Finishing was not an option at that time.

 But starting into surya namaska A I was feeling good. B felt even better, instead of feeling tired, or challenged, B felt like an old friend. Practiced on keeping the inner elbows facing front to press my index finger down on chaturangga, a helpful trick given by my teacher.

 Standing poses went well. I was working on the breathing. Utthita Eka Padasana felt easier on BOTH legs. I usually have reservations for this poses, and the 2 prior. But they were thankfully easy.

 come dandasana. Jump throughs were flowy! Still need work to 'float' but at least I wasn't dragging my whole foot or thumping them on the way to swing through. I actually swung through 60% of the time! My jump backs - or Lolasana, were SO MUCH BETTER -  i could actually swing my legs through before lack of strength succumbed to dragging my feet back to plank. O was thanking GOD all the time. Alhamdulillah. Really. Before I know it it was time for Navasana, then Bhujapindasana (which felt lighter) and Garbha Pindasana.

 Let me tell you.  I FLOWED 9 times, Beautifully. No jerky movements, but easy, rapid, fluid breathing in and out falling back and riding up. Oh the pleasure and joy bursting out from my body. I was gloriously smiling while doing my Kukutasana.

 This is why I love ashtanga. why I am GLAD, very, that I found it when I did. What a mind blowing, mentally stimulating exercise. Is it exercise? Because I started today's practice with very low morale and mood and self love and ended it feeling I could be - I want to be - a better person, a better WIFE. And I keep thanking God. Because I am able. No other workout made me feel like it. Except maybe cycling.

 Maybe also because I bought a new mat today - Manduka Pro in Sage Black, superlong! I LOVED it. Thick, steady, solid, and dependable. My cats love it too. My heels don't hurt anymore!

Compiled entries

Monday:

 Greetings from turkmenistan. Even with all the travelling, I will not abandon my practice. In a way, while doing these calming, familiar poses, I thought to myself how lucky I was to be discovering ashtanga when I did. It's  the most efficient exercise for me, with having to be moving about, and the fact that I am now covered. Swimming was the hardest to continue after my covering - there is no way I could swim without exposing skin, which I am trying to minimize. Running poses no problems, except that I hate running alone when you live in an area with too many guys (ogt) or an unfamilliar territory. Plus it's mentally challenging. Sometimes you're lazy and a km seems like forever. Cycling requires an effort with the logistics. Not only I have to drive to the RV place, I have to make sure everything is ready. This is the most tiring workout options, but the hardest to let go.

 Yoga provides all that in the comfort of my room.  For 1 and a half hour, I am guaranteed to get a good, physically challenging and mentally calming workout. And for no reason, finishing the workout gives me a high buzz. It's a good feeling, a sense of achievement. And instantly my spirits and mood are lifted.

 Monday, arrived at the Onshore Gas Terminal, with my cozy cabin room, I set up the primary series. It was a cold night, and I hardly sweat. How impossible was it to practice on a yogitoes without being sweaty. It wa slike gripping silk. I practised up to Bandha Konasana, telling myself this is as good as it gets.

Tuesday:

Full Primary, with a pincha thrown in. Everything was ok, except I wished my Garbha Pindasana was better. That's always the issue I am working on. Bhujapidasana still escapes me. My jump throughs and jump backs though, were the best yet that night.

Thursday:
Full Primary. A little tired. I concentrated more on my bandhas and breathing. I only got probably 20% of trying to focus on my bandhas and breathing, sometimes losing focus. Garbha was veryyy sketchy. Bhujapidasana felt better. Lift up to jump back weaker, probably because I was tired. I was squirming in Shavasana... something I would want to work on in the future.

 Great week.

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Sunday. Morning practice after a while. I was tired, and sore from traveling, but i figured a little perky exercise would do me good.

 I definitely dedicated today's practice to concentration of the uddiya bandha and the breathing. I tried not to let my mind wander so much before I get it back to my breathing, and I tried hard to breathe with my lungs instead my stomach, therefore engaging my uddiya bandha. 30% of the time I could feel it strongly working, even begin to feel the heat working in my body.

 My jump through is getting better, or maybe the same. I noticed I wasnt really lifting up my butt in order to let my feet swing through my arms, instead letting my foot thump lightly on the mat before clumsily 'swinging' through. My jump back was weak today, maybe because of my arms, but I managed to lift my seat up almost everytime. My Bhujapidasana did not feel as great at last time I practiced, and my garbha was not that good. Nevertheless, I'm happy with my Supta Konasana and Uddiya Konasana.

 I am also working hard on my Shasana though. This time it kinda worked.

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I am back in Malaysia for a while. Went back last Wednesday.

Monday: Backbends and hoome practice. Simple and sweet
Wednesday: Full Primary. Enjoyed it.
Friday: Full Primary LED and then flight class. It was awesome. Did 8 limbed pose.
Saturday: 1 hour Hatha class. Relaxing.