No Practice Wednesday

Didn't practice last night... and to be honest I felt bad. Not bad like you missed a training run and would have to make it up, but bad as in I could feel my body growing weaker. Isn't it crazy? I think I'm addicted.

Although I did fit in a couple of Bakasana as always. Feels weird this time. Harder. Maybe I just didn't focus. Wanted to put in a sirsasana but I am on my period. So Bakasana it was, and a couple of Titibhasana. which I think is waayyy easier than Bakasana.

I'm starting to get obsessed with the jump backs and jump through. Tried it at home a few times the way Grimmly did it in his posts, but just couldn't work round the mechanics. He wrote about how his wife just did it easily with no strength whatsoever so I think it must be because we think too much. It's happened before. I can't wait to nail it! I remember the growing frustration when I was learning Bakasana and the thought of it never happening to me and I tell myself that with practice it will come. So will these jump back and jump through.

On the car to work I thought about my current favorite pose. I think it has to be Kukkutasana. I love it including the vinyasa leading to it - the rolling down and up 9 times to represent 9 months in the womb. I even love Garbhapindasana. For me that was a no brainer - it was easy slipping my arms through my legs. I even feet good sometimes cocooned in my own body.

Talking about it makes me itch to practice. will do it tonight, by hook or by crook!

Jump Through and Jump Back

Yesterday's class was nice and relaxing, to be honest. And also humbling. I thought I could rock the class, but in reality my standing poses were jumpy, and my breathing were out of sync. I had promised myself to dedicate this practice at class to my breathing, but apparently I got lost in my own frustrations or effort or struggle that I sometimes hold my breath!

The teacher was focused on having us do the jump back. It was a Lolasana then swing through to Chaturangga. I tried many times but nothing happen. My feet would not sweep through. It was frustrating. I also want to try to do a jump through properly, but somehow my body would not move the way I envisioned it in my mind. I want my shoulders to get past my wrists so my legs could slide through, but well. Nothing happened.

I went back home and tried a few times to lift and swing but my body felt heavy. Same went for my jump through. I did not want to get too obsessed, so I made a promise to myself that I would practice the swing through between poses, and still practice the lolasana between each leg. I think the strength will come naturally.

David Swensen made me feel better:

The final bit of advice I have is to enjoy your practice regardless of the ability to jump through. We tend to place too much emphasis on the external aspects of the practice. These abilities are fleeting at best, and the "real" yoga is what we cannot see.

So my updated target for 2012:

1) master jump through and jump back

2) setu bandhasana and wheel correctly and without pain

3) bhujapidasana

Mysore? Watching the video made me feel intimidated. Maybe later.

On Why Bakasana and Sirsasana Rocks

Tonight will be my first class with my teacher after her 3 weeks break. I can't wait! I owe it all to her for introducing me to Ashtanga. She was already a great teacher when I went to her studio 2 years back. I remember her Hot yoga classes were to die - or to sweat - for. One of her poses that I love is what she calls the Cheongsam - where you lean back on your heels and lift your body off them a few inches. Really works your quads!

Yesterday night I was itching to do some yoga but was too tired after work, preparing dinner, etc. So what I did was just 3 Surya Namaskara A, and my favorite Bakasana and Salamba Sirsasana. I also added Titibhasana just to further work on my wrists.

I do not know why I love Bakasana and Salamba Sirsasana so much, but let me try to dissect:

1) Maybe because Bakasana is one of the most recognizable Yoga poses for me. I think I've seen it to represent Yoga since I was first interested in it. And it looks easy - just balance on your arm, but whenever I tried to do it I couldn't. When Angie made us do it, only Yana could and I didn't even bother to try. I knew I would fall on my face.

But since it's a requisite pose for Primary Series, I got obsessed with trying. I think I practiced it everyday until I got the hang of the mechanics. My husband was right - it's all about knowing how the poses work. And until now it's one of my favorite poses to do, mostly because I work hard for it!

2) Salamba Sirsasana was one of those poses you think you could NEVER ever do in your life... until you tried it once and it was EASY. Your legs just lift up as if they were made of air. That's how it was for me, and I got cocky. I did it everyday, love it until today. But somewhere in the middle I was trying to fine tune the pose (to make my body to be 90 degrees vertical) and I fell backwards a few times. I think that shattered my confidence and right now I'm slowly working on doing the pose with some sort of a support a couple feet behind my back. I know I shouldn't mentally depend on the support but I think it is safer for me. My neck hurts for days when I fell off doing Sirsasana. I trust that time will take care of itself and the perfect pose will come.

I've told you that my target list for 2012 is to:

1) master Jump Throughs and Jump Backs

2) Do a good Setu Bhandasana and Wheel Pose

3) Half Moon Pose

4) Try a Mysore class

if I can do them by Q2, I would be happy but I have no expectations.

Till then!

Third Home Practice: 2 victory poses!

Today was my third Ashtanga home practice. Amazingly, I did it after a 27km bike ride. To tell you the truth, I am exhausted right now!

The thing I noticed when I did my poses the last few days was that if I did them hurriedly, or as a sealing measure before I go to sleep, my practice reflects my state of mind. If I was having a particularly busy and rushed day, I didn't balance well, I was not strong enough to lift up in Lolasana, etc. But usually when I start my practice with the mindset that it's going to be my exercise for the day, things felt nice.

Today's practice wasn't planned. I meant to do a couple of standing postures and a few of the earlier seated poses to stretch my legs after the ride. But since I didn't do the practice fully for 2 days now, I felt why not? Plus the beauty about yoga is that you do it as it comes - you can stop when you want to stop and continue if you feel stronger. As least that's my promise to myself. I want to enjoy yoga, not hate it because I couldn't do the poses.

Sequences today:

Surya Namaskara A

Surya Namaskara B

Standing Postures

Seated Postures - Lolasana in between poses and each leg, sometimes a half vinyasa between poses.

Finishing Sequence.

My focus was half in and half out when doing this - maybe because I had meant to do it as a cool down stretch. I find myself pausing in between poses to reply to text messages and what not. My balance in the Revolved Triangle was a little bit unstable, but better than the previous days.

When I was attempting Bhajupidasana, there was a split second where I could almost feel things working perfectly; my bandha lifting my butt up and head coming down but at the last minute my feet crashed down on the floor. But in that split second I felt the lightness of my feet when I'm in the final pose and understand now why the vinyasa is important. My normal way of putting my feet down and then moving into the intended final pose made my feet seemed very heavy.

Also in Kurmasana - I think my legs went down flatter a little than the previous days! Yeay! Also, thanks to the cycling, my legs were fully stretched and warmed up, so there was not a lot of stiffness. I shall try doing this after a run.

I am now working on Upavisthakormasana - working on maintaining that balance where my spine stays straight and lifted as well as my legs. When I was doing it before, I was hunching my back just so my legs could be straight.

2 biggest joy and celebrations:

I could do Chakrasana! It really is as simple as rolling backwards without thinking. I was too scared to do it and practices only until my legs were over my, but I think last practice I kind of did it quick and it was easy. Today I tried to be in the moment of how my body was working while in that pose. It was wonderful!

My Salamba Sirsasana is quite stable. I moved myself farther away from the support and tried very slowly to lift up and I think I got the hang of it. I only stayed maybe 5 seconds but it was soo worth it. I came down praising Allah swt for giving me this strength to attempt this pose. I was so happy and smiling while doing the Child's pose.

My target pose to nail:

Setu Bandhasana - could never balance well, and my neck hurts sometimes after. I think I am doing it all wrong and needed my teacher's help to guide me and make me understand the science behind this.

Short and Sweet Practice

Last night was my second Ashtanga practice at home.

I had a long day, frazzled, but thank God the traffic was kind. Went to grocery shop for a while and by the time we came back it was already near 10pm. I realized a normal Primary Series would be too energizing at night but I really needed the solace of practice. So I started

5 Sun Salutations A

5 Sun Salutations B

Standing Postures

Pascimattanasana B

Janu Sirsasana B - This one becomes my favorite, it really hurts, the good kind. Plus the heel massages the butt muscle well.

Mary A, B, C, D

Bhajupidasana

Titibhasana

Bakasana

Kurmasana

Finishing Postures

I did all this with only a Lolasana in between every leg and each postures.

- I am slowly working my Kurmasana. When I first did the pose, it was easy and I was flat. But I think my hamstrings are injured or something because now I am tight. I counter back by sitting longer in Kurmasana, just to slowly get my legs flat like it was the first time.

- My Bhajupidasana hurts my left knee from the 'lifting' I did once my head's on the floor. I tried to engage my bandha but don't know if it's working.

- I nearly toppled back in Sirsasana. As usual I am veryy nervous about this post, so different than before. I'm pretty sure because I was getting too cocky about nailing it so easily. And now I'm learning to take it as it is.

Neck Pain and Numb Heel and a Bakasana How-To

My friend told me Google isn't a certified doctor, and true enough, because it has me thinking that I either have a collapsed vertebrae or a heart problem.

My left heel has been numb for a few days now and it's bothering me. Not only that, my entire left side hurts... although not simultaneously. I have a suspicion that it's because of my sirsasana, I fell over a few times in my attempts. I read that the tingling feeling correlates to nerves damage, with could be caused by a crushed vertebrae, which a headstand can bring if not done properly.

I was careful with my headstand; I made sure that my shoulders weren't going towards my elbows, that they were strong and engaged. I followed the tips to keep your heels apart and foot flexed to help my pelvis align straight over my shoulders. But I guess the damage was already done.

Of course, I could be overreacting and this could probably be due to bad sleeping position or pillow. I HAVE been battling sore neck even before doing headstands. So sore neck isn't a big issue as much as my tingly numb left heel. I'm going to get it checked out later.

Yesterday night I didn't get the chance to do any yoga. Except to pull off a few asanas. I did the Bakasana a few times during the day and before I went to sleep. I also did the Shoulder stand only because I was prepping for a Sirsasana. Yep. But I kept it simple and sweet. Wanted to repeat it, but this time I tell myself, a Sirsasana a day is enough.

I want to talk about my journey with Primary Series so far. Why do I love it? Because it's a workout. And because it's challenging, everytime. If it wasn't challenging, it would be relaxing, or a humbling experience. And because my body is changing, getting better, improving. Stamina wise, I would say it didn't increase much; still have to struggle going up the hills when I cycle. But at least it kept my heart pumping.

I also like the discipline. The day in day out routine, never changing. I'm a lover of routine; need it like a baby needs its mother's milk. Especially exercise routines.

My favorite thing since doing this Primary Series is the fact that my upper body is getting stronger. When I was doing yoga with Angie, I couldn't even do a proper Chaturangga and Upward Dog. My arms hurt, and just not strong enough. Forget about the Crane pose. And it wasn't the teacher - we only have class once a week - it was also lack of practice.

When I first started doing the Primary Series (in the Intro to Ashtanga), Bakasana was the bane of my existence. I could do the Shoulder Pressing Pose just fine, could even attempt a half a second of Titibhasana, but could. not. do. the. crane.

So with two weeks off from Yoga as my instructor went for a holiday, I promised myself that I would try every day to attempt doing the Bakasana until I finally get it.

And it wasn't pretty. I think I literally tried for days. Every morning, still in my birthday suit, I would go through all the preparations necessary; the arms shoulder width apart, tucking your knees up through your armpits, lifting your butt up high, looking forward, etc.

I fell forward many many times. Countless. I was prepared and always landed on a pillow I put before I tried the pose. I fell backwards, hurt my wrists, sweated buckets, etc. My husband even tried coaching me, telling me to find that 'balance' where things just naturally fall into place. Yeah, as if it was that easy.

I had to admit I was at times frustrated. I wanted to NAIL this pose so MUCH. I don't know why - ego? achievement? because I have always thought the pose looked cool? Maybe all three. I just knew that if I could nail this I am happy. I have managed to conquer my upper body.

I kept a routine: a few tries in the morning - maybe 5 or 6 - until my wrists hurt and BEFORe I felt seriously discouraged, and again at night, a couple tries. I always just managed to lift my butt up high and one leg up. Keeping the other leg too was the problem.

Until one day, I got it. I just did. I credit this one YoutTube video of a guy explaining the dynamics of Bakasana with all the center of axis and everything. Yep, I guess I am a true blue engineer after all, of all the Bakasana how-tos out there the ones with a physics explanation reeled me in.

He explained this much, and that is how I managed to nail it: Lift your butt up high to offset your axis. Slowly lean forward - the key is to move your shoulders OVER your wrists - and trust me, once your shoulder goes over, your feet naturally will take flight. And then it's all about stabilizing yourself. I usually try to think about keeping my butt high while focusing on my breathing and my gaze. the first time I did it, I only managed to stay for one second. But I GOT the mechanics. I understood it. The next time it was all about keeping myself steady and stable.

Whew... that was a long explanation. Maybe because I am REALLY happy I got to do a Bakasana. And only after nailing it did I understand the concept of Yoga. Your body will let you do the pose when it is ready. You cannot use brute force. You just need to practice, practice and practice. Trust me, practicing WORKS.

First 2012 practice

I did my first 2012 Ashtanga practice yesterday.

After 2 days of not doing yoga, I felt weird. I know it's due to my perfectionist side; I tend to be anal about my workouts, especially if I am training for a race. I also tend to get fidgety and cranky without any form of workout over the period of 2 days - lord knows how my husband learned about that one.

Yesterday I started with the intention of doing a complete Primary Series. Mind you, my 'complete' means doing all the seated poses with a full vinyasa in between, and only a Lolasana between each leg. And I did them all except for one of the last poses - Ubaya Padanghustasana .

1) My Kukkutasana is improving. I remember my earlier days of doing Ashtanga, saw a MySore video of a lady doing what looked like a complicated twisting and turning and in and out. I remembered thinking, man that looked tough! And there I was yesterday, after a week or so of attempts, manage to understand the essence of the pose - the breathing techniques to fully lay back and lift up, the rotation to the sides - that seemed to impossible to me back then. I now only need to work on the finesse - to do a complete 9 times to form a complete circle. The last part of lifting my body on my wrists is my favorite.

2) Sirsasana still tentative. To build confidence I tried to so a second one without the support of a wall, which was successful and relieved me. What I'm worried about is my neck pain - more like pulled muscle. I initially thought its because of my sleeping arrangements and pillow but then again it could be because of my incorrect headstand. My left heel feels numb at times and when I googled it one link said it could be related to nerves due to collapsed vertebrae... which sirsasana could do. Will do more research.

3) I am working on Supta Padangusthasana and Bhijapidasana.

Will write later. I won't forget to thank Allah swt for this gift.