Teachers

I love yogaglow.

I do not know how else to say this but to really really feel grateful that I signed up for it. I knew from a start that I love the freedom of home practice. Which is why I took to ashtanga the way I did. Once you got the sequence memorized, you do not have to worry about anything else. And it's a good thing that I am a stickler to alignment and I love reading on basics and proper anatomy usage to really make sure that the poses I do are safe.

Prior to the website, I have been enjoying my own home practice - using the much appreciated yogajournal home practice. It was good enough for me, and most of the times I ended up adding my own poses that I seem fit to be included in the flow.

this website just made it easier. And it just strengthened my resolve. Sometimes I give up a little tad to early in  holding a pose, but when you have a teacher egging you on or encouraging you to just hold a little bit, you do. Like today's 90 vinyasa flow class I took with amy ippoliti, about chest openers and being happy. She did a killer sequence of urdvha  dhanurasana, which we have to hold for 30 seconds. I've never held for that long before. and 3 times! I was figuring out how to last for the last time until she said, "when you're in the pose and you feel like you can't hold it anymore and need to go down, that is the time for you to take a deep breath and hold on to many 3 more breaths. This is to let you know that you can persevere through hard times." That was a good thing. That is actually the essence of my journey of exercising and 'training', be it running, cycling and swimming. I think that's why I totally love solo sport - because the only real opponent if yourself. And if you can conquer it, then maybe, perhaps, your determination in life just got a little bit steelier. I always go back to the toughest times of when I don't give up to pull me through a current tough crisis - mentally, emotionally, and especially physically - that I am plowing through.

 So after that amy class I moved on to tiffany crushank's leg sequence, but eventhough its only 30 minutes I was tired halfway so I stopped. It's a good energizing sequence for sore legs. I did kathryn budig's shoulder stretcher and oh my god... my sore shoulders diminished. Even before the session is over I was freaking out inside on how much my shoulders don't feel sore anymore.

 I finished the session with a 7 second handstand x2, a 7 seconds pincha and a melted leg pincha, with a headstand with blocks. Felt good.

 Love it.

 Yesteday's ashtanga ended after Bandha konasana because I was too damn tired... and apparently it was because of the full moon. I thought I was pregnant. hahah.

Impromptu

Love it when I have an unexpected practice.

  I am fasting today, but knew that I wanted to do some yoga. I just felt like it. Ashtanga was scheduled today, but my heart wasn't in it. So I logged on to yogaglo and did a 30 minute practice with elena brower which worked on the shoulders and legs. It was a slow practice which was topped off with an arm balancing - the side plank thing in third series ashtanga - that really made the practice worth it. Then I continued with Kathryn Budig's restorative class wich had a lot of laying on the bolster and ended with a refreshing supta bandha konasana and I felt so good. I continued with some of my own chest openers using the blocks and the chair which really worked my upper body.

then I did my sequence of low lunge, high lunge, warrior 1, warrior 2 and 3 then half moon, bound half moon and then reverse half moon, lizard pose then pigeon. I also did 2 rounds of handstand, the last counting up to 7 seconds. I did 2 rounds of pincha, the last counting up to 7 seconds as well, and supported headstand, for as long as I could stand. I want to make this my daily practice.

Then I moved on to sphinx, baby cobra, cobra, salambasana,  bow pose, bridge, urdvha dhanurasana twice, then camel post. I love my camel pose now. Love it. Then the usual bandha konasana and the wide legged forward bend before a savasana.

 I love it when I work with my body, following what it feels like having instead of forcing it to do just this. Strangely enough... my heart's kinda feel like its not into ashtanga for the moment. I don't know if it's the fact that I'm trying to conceive, or the fact that maybe I am already pregnant, or just that I'm fasting, but the thought of doing the repetitions just don't make me feel excited anymore. I still do want to practice ashtanga even throughout my pregnancy so I can't really make it stop. But I am also finding it beautiful to do poses that my body needs.

 Love it today.

workshopp

It's been a week after eid, and surprisingly enough my practice during the ramadhan has been great. Pretty consistent. I lost count a couple of practice days so I'm not even going to put them here.

 I want to talk about the amazing arm balance and backbending workshop I attended during the weekend. the first day was backbend which I was really looking forward to.

 we warmed up with a variation of the surya namaskar, which got me all hot and sweaty. Then we procedeed with backbends. we did the sphinx, the salambasana, the bow pose, and then we moved to the padangustha versions - which really worked my shoulder cause they are so tight. I loved working on that. I did it with straps cause my feet got really sweaty. But my shoulder really felt it. then variation of eka pada raja kapotasana. Then we did the uttrasana, then the second series backbending leading up to kapotasana. I could feel my body or rather back getting better, as in, there wasn't much complaining felt from the lower back region.

 When we moved to wheel we were playing into the pose for a while that my back started getting intense. We then moved to dropback and this was where I struggled. The front of my body kept on shaking so hard when I tried to lift up my arms and bend backwards. It's a struggle I have to keep practising with.

 The next day was arm balances, which I have a little bit more confidence in. It was good we did the bakasana, titibasana, the grasshopper (which I nailed!!) the eagle one legged pose, the astravasana, the parsva bakasana etc. I enjoyed this class.

online class

Sunday:

Full Primary, with 4 solid urdvha dhanurasana. It felt good. I enjoyed it. I felt really sick and lethargic and weak the first few sitting poses and considered stopping until janu sirsasana but I told myself to take my time and go it slowly. and I did it. It was well worth the practice.

Monday:

Took an online class with steven espinosa a simple hatha class which worked on my legs a lot. He does a lot of high lunges and warrior one and two. My favorite is the one legged downward dog with the leg bent to the other side and you're sort of doing a backbend. The side plank was challenging, and I love the bridge at the end.

Tuesday: I plan to do primary series today.

Pre Iftar primary

Yesterday was a good Primary - because I finished it in one session, even with Savasana, although that Savasana was only for 5 mins.

 I started at 6 and finished at 725. Perfect timing for iftar.

 Not too tired or thirsty or drained, but I felt strong instead. Excited to do this. However halfway through Janu Sirsasana I was thinking how nice if I was at the finishing postures right now.

 Things that baffles me: my chaturranga. Ever since I figured out how to 'round my upper back' I worried that maybe I've been coming down to chaturranga in a pike position - that is, butt high in the air. When i consciously lowered my hip my upper back automatically collapsed, even if I tried it with all my might to round it. I guess the strength isnt there yet. Need to work on it. Otherwise things felt good, no hiccups, still working on the Chakrasana, and the Urdhva Padmasana, the latter I am not that bothered. Come to think of it, even if I never nailed Chakrasana I think I would be ok. It will come and if it doesn't yoga is not just asanas.

Registered for yogaglo. yay!!

Tuesdayy

Simple and easy yoga session yesterday:

 1) core salutations warmup

 main set:

 - downward dog
 - warrior 1
 - warrior 2
 - downward dog

 - garudasana
 - high lunge
 - warrior three with eagle arm
 - half moon pose
 - standing split
 - reversed half moon
 - utkatasana
 - squat pose
 - bakasana
 - chaturangga dandasana
 - downward dog

Then I did backbends sequence. Camel pose growing beautifully!

sunday

Yesterday I only managed to do the standing sequence.

Backbend

Yesterday I worked with my backbends.

 Warmed up with core salutations.
 Then did the strength and grace sequence:
 utkatasana,
 standing forward bend,
 high lunge,
 downward dog,
 and forearm plank,
each for 15 steady breaths

then
locust
bow
headstand (in lieu for the tripod headstand)
ends in balasana

Then I worked on the sequence with high lunge variation, eka pada raja kapotasana variation (this one really pulled my quads) and then a while on the pincha mayurasana variation, where you're supposed to melt your whole legs on the wall.

I thought it would be easy, but it is hard! First of all I had a hard time figuring out which way was up and down. And then trying to get my butt there was the problem, either my lower back or my shoulders aren't open enough. But I managed after the third try... just lightly grazing my butt on the wall. This pose definitely going to be one of my favorites to work on.

Then the urdhva dhanurasana against the wall. Melting my heart to the wall isn't easy, could feel the lower back responding to the gentle squeeze.

Then I did the normal backbend sequence: sphinx, cobra, locust, bow and my favorite - camel.

 This time my camel were nice. I practiced really lifting my heart up and trusting my lower back could take it and FELT the difference. No intense feeling, just nice uplifting sensation. Lifting up I tried engaging my lower back and butt to pull me up and it worked! Definitely going to try this from now on, to strengthen my back and work on dropback.

Loved the session yesterday :)

second series

yesterday's led was a surprise: teacher decided maybe we should do 2nd series.

 It was crazy. I wasn't really up for it because I know my backbend sucks and I have this crazy fear or snapping them backwards. Plus I was really looking forward for a nice practice with the primary. But well, since it was a major consensus...

 It started out ok. Passasana (however you spell it) was fine, except that I cramped a little at the deeper region of my thigh. Krounchasana was ok, but I couldn't get my leg up close to my face without compromising my back. The bows and the locust was okay, and then came the kapotasana - the first time I tried it, I couldn't even land my arms on the floor because my lower back was feeling all kinds of intense. Then my teacher suggested we tried again, and this time i managed to find the floor, but the intense feeling in my lower back just scared the shit out of me. I flailed wildly to be pulled up.

I feel better when doing the LBH sequence.

I'm frustrated at how bad my body is taking to the backbend but grateful for the slow advancement of it at the same time. It's not as stiff as it was before, thats for sure, but definitely I have a long way to go before I could manage a decent dropback or a kapotasana without the intense feeling in my lower back accompanied by the paralyzing fear in my head. My teacher sad that my progress in doing backbends have something to do with maybe fear... or anger. I have no idea how to interpret that. Could it be true? I somehow refuse to believe that your body mourns the same like your heart. But so many acient yoga texts say the same thing. Maybe there is truth in it. Maybe this is why the acupunturist said that I am crazy. All the energy blockages, the crazy chi readings...

 well. Allah swt knows best.