second series

yesterday's led was a surprise: teacher decided maybe we should do 2nd series.

 It was crazy. I wasn't really up for it because I know my backbend sucks and I have this crazy fear or snapping them backwards. Plus I was really looking forward for a nice practice with the primary. But well, since it was a major consensus...

 It started out ok. Passasana (however you spell it) was fine, except that I cramped a little at the deeper region of my thigh. Krounchasana was ok, but I couldn't get my leg up close to my face without compromising my back. The bows and the locust was okay, and then came the kapotasana - the first time I tried it, I couldn't even land my arms on the floor because my lower back was feeling all kinds of intense. Then my teacher suggested we tried again, and this time i managed to find the floor, but the intense feeling in my lower back just scared the shit out of me. I flailed wildly to be pulled up.

I feel better when doing the LBH sequence.

I'm frustrated at how bad my body is taking to the backbend but grateful for the slow advancement of it at the same time. It's not as stiff as it was before, thats for sure, but definitely I have a long way to go before I could manage a decent dropback or a kapotasana without the intense feeling in my lower back accompanied by the paralyzing fear in my head. My teacher sad that my progress in doing backbends have something to do with maybe fear... or anger. I have no idea how to interpret that. Could it be true? I somehow refuse to believe that your body mourns the same like your heart. But so many acient yoga texts say the same thing. Maybe there is truth in it. Maybe this is why the acupunturist said that I am crazy. All the energy blockages, the crazy chi readings...

 well. Allah swt knows best.

update

Wednesday:

Primarry LED, but up until Bandha Konasana because time was limited. It was good. Worked my body. Then it was the yin class, lots of hip openeers, the lizard, the baddha konasana, the virasana, upavistha konasana, etc.

Friday:
Full Primary and it was awesome. Then a vinyasa class, with humble warrior, bound triangle, half moon pose, crow, Urdvha Dhanurasana variation, etc.

Recap

Wednesday:

 Great primary. Well actually I cant remember much cause its Friday. But it was no different than any other primary. My shoulders werent sore, so I was able to work the half vinyasas. The wheel greatly improved, loves it, thanks larugaaa. Garbha flowed beautifully. I did dolphin instead of headstand. And I incorporated the correct amount of vinyasa this time around. one before shoulder stand, one after sirsasana, and one after tolasana. It was tiring but I was glad I did it.

Thursday:

Tired, but still wanted to practice.

- core salutations x1
- warrior 1
- warrior 2
- bound pose
- intense side stretch
- half moon

Backbends sequence like tuesday. Worked on natarajasana with straps. king pigeon.

Friday:

ashtanga led this morning. this time I was exhausted. my shoulders ached and burned. my sides felt intense, especially during a downward dog. all downward dogs. we did only until navasana but I was glad for the half practice. my energy level was low. I did a wonderful wheel. loved it. we did headstand... and she made me do one. In a way I was ready; felt that my shoulder had gained some strength with all the work I did. I managed to balance a little bit. Definitely wasnt as easy as it was before.

later I did a vinyasa class. I LOVED this.

warmup: pushing our back up towards the ceiling, rounding, working to perfect the arms balancing postures. downward dog with bend elbows, that was hard work. downward dog stretching the calves, loved it too. then fire hydrant pose. That realllly worked my tight hips. Fired the sides of my hips in places I can't quite place. We also did the fire hydrant pose in a downward dog version. loves it.

 then we proceeded. Today it was gentle, bound triangle, which reallllly worked my legs. maybe doing it again tomorrow. a hunble warrior with a gomukasana arms. then halfmoon.

for standing poses it was the bound parsva konasana, the third series balancing lotus thingy, cobra, and a dropback. she made me do it! I can't believe it. I was shaking and felt intense going down but when I lifted my hands back it felt natural. I can't wait to do it again! Maybe against the wall.

My whole body is achy right now. loves it.

Wednesday usuals

As usual, LED Primary was good. I tried to focus on my breathing but did not somehow get to concentrate much. Bhujapidasa was ok, not worse, but could be better. At one point I could feel the jump back happening, but did not deliver to the end. I could feel the result of working on the Lolasana though. This time my Garbha Pidasana was better, but still forgot to count how many times I rolled. My Upavistha Konasana has improved. My backbend has improved!

I did Chakrasana, but still too scared to do Setu Bandhasana. Wheel still hurts... can't wait till it becomes easier.

Yin class was good. We did lots of hip opening poses, of which I did the night before. The teacher said it's too work on the spleen and stomach meridian. We did Lizards pose, low pigeon - or sleeping swan pose. And a variation of bent legs and lay back all the way. Feels good.

Now I'm in need of a gooood back - upper back - massage.

Wednesday Mayhem

Skipped yoga on Tuesday. Body felt too tired to even move. was glad for the rest and fully enjoyed it. Felt guilty maybe for a bit, the morning after, but was comforted with the thought of having a full practice and a yin yoga later on.

Wednesday practice was good. It went okay, for most times I was able to focus on my breathing, counting out the discomfort. I am happy that I remember most of the poses, thanks to regular practice. Nothing was especially harder or a struggle, and bhujapidasana felt ok. I struggled a little bit on Utthita Eka Padasana of course, they were so hard that day I do not know why. Finishing was always Viparita Karani.

Yin was crazyy! It was a mixture of gentle pull and relaxing. I almost fell asleep in most poses until drool was coming out from the corner of my mouth! Aptly so, as we were mostly doing relaxing sequences.

Normal yoga today. Yay!