Wednesday practice

My regular LED ashtanga class was ok yesterday, except that I let my mind wander off in certain poses. I hate how amazingly true it is: the fact that your state of mind decides how your practice is going to be for that day. I started the practice with an intention: DO NOT SHOW OFF. Which is usually the case when I realize that the other is less flexible/strong than me. This is why I love the home practice: where I have no one to compare to and can be truly myself, or the Mysore style class: where everyone is better than me and I am only one soul doing her job.

Of course there was this one lady who was already good in primary series, the other lady super flexible but that's about it. I felt some sort of a Hah! moment whenever she couldn't do what I could, and sure enough my balance faltered, I was unable to do it, I became stupid. Like Bhupidasana, was too eager to show her what I've got and I ended up being horribly stuck like never before coming down and unable to lift up. Humility.

Yin was awful. I suffered more in yin than in any other class. We did shoulder openers and I hate the Sphinx. Never really know whether to resign to the pose or use muscles to hold my shoulders.

One thing I know though: my body's betting better and stronger. I am also showing aversion in oily, nontasty food. Been thinking of being a vegetarian but I still do enjoy the meat. Maybe I should cut down.

Teeny Improvements

Last night s promised: Full Ashtanga, with modifications.

When i say Full ashtanga to me it literally meant I did 99% of the poses until Savasana. But a Real Great Full Ashtanga for me would be doing it completely with the vinyasas. I've since stopped doing full vinyasa but maybe I should incorporate that into my practice because I love how lengthy it is and how torturous the process goes. I guess I do feel like I've done 'work' after a particularly hard toil. I especially love how it calms the mind ans strengthen it when I am struggling. This kind of reminds me of my triathlon training days - long miles on the road, heavy hills, overly fatigue body, with nothing but your mind pushing you forward.

Yesterday I did only a Lolasana in lieu of a vinyasa. And there were moments where I could 'feel' the lolasana working - when my body lift up effortlessly and nearly did a full back swing - and the feeling was awesome. But it came and went, and I spent the rest of the practice working on liftig my body up in a tight package. My standing poses were strong and good, I noticed I felt balance, grounded and strong in all the poses. This was a surprise because late night practice usually makes me very unstable and scattered.

My Bhujapindasana was a bit disappointing, I still feel hard effort to rest my forehead on the floor without cramping my right foot. My Upavistha Konasana feels stronger, and I could straighten my legs a little now. Doing the Urdvha Dhanurasana still hurts, but at least I could hold on to longer.

Full practice today!

3 days rest

The last practice I did was on Friday, which was an intro class, for which I was grateful. My upper back was pretty sore from the practice and I could feel a burning pain starting at the left rotator cuff, so I was glad for the teacher's slow paced instruction and her skipping the vinyasa between postures.

We practiced the vinyasa to supta konasana where you need to land on your calves without smacking your heels and with your legs straight. I couldn't do it. Others could, but I find that my legs tend to bend and my heels crash first.

Yesterday didn't do it at all due to some other activity. I miss it, and will try to do it tonight.

Mastering the mind

Yesterday was really crazy class - crazy but good.

Went for an Ashtanga LED class with a full on tension in my neck from bracing the traffic, thank God the class have yet to start.

We went with Kino, whose short and (sometimes) very fast countings kept my heart rate waaayyy up and nearly gasping for breath. It was beautiful, not much thoughts were given, I was simply going through the motions. At some points ego and cockiness seeped into my heart, especially after a sucessful binding of Mary D, but I tried the hardest to kick them out. For fonishing sequence, instead of doing the modifications like at home, I opted for the invigorating Vaparita Karani until Fish, which I did a modified fish. Tolasana - or Uplutihih - was great as usual.

Then moved on to Yin yoga. A replacement teacher was in and she was pretty loud, quite a contrast with what the class suggests. But her poses were CRAZYYY. we did forward bend which was held for 5 minutes and it was crazy. Painful, good painful. Then the best part - lizard pose. I was struggling with it the whole time. The teacher said something like, "Yin teaches you to master your mind," and I was tyring to control my thoughts but all I got was THIS FUCKING HURTS.

We were encouraged not to use props at all if we could but the point is to relax completely so I of course succumbed to props. I have given up on showing off after the injury. then it was happy baby and the sphinx. Good massages.

Looking forward for today's lovely and quiet yoga. I'm going to still work on the backbends. Slowly.

Restorative Yoga

Last night I did an easy, slow, relaxing one hour plus yoga.

Followed the home practice sequence from yoga journal:

downward dog

triangle pose

extended side angle

half moon pose

janu sirsasana

bound angle pose

reclining pose

then continued to

sphinx

baby cobra

cobra

locust

bow

camel

bridge

more upper back opener with a chair. Releases the tension in my neck.

cat and cow.

worked on a few neck poses - thread the needle, etc. some shoulder opening poses from yogatic.

I forgot to do the dolphin sequence. will do it later.

it was a good one hour, to work on my poses, things I dont usually do if I do ashtanga.

Primary Monday

I was so tired last night. Tired and sleepy. But I came home thinking that maybe I'll just do the standing sequence, and while doing the Surya Namaskara I was thinking maybe I'll do the primary but without the vinyasas, and in the end I did a complete one.

Practice was ok, but because I was tired, I sometimes stop for a while to take a breather. I think it took me 3 hours from start to finish - and by finish I mean complete finish, after the backbends prep, the neck and shoulder rolls.

I focused on tucking my legs into my body in a tight package instead of having them spread apart across my chest when I lift up and jump back. Jump backs and throughs are pretty nonexistent, but surprisingly it doesnt really bother me. I trust that they come when the body is ready and when they want to come. Same goes for Bhujapindasana - one of my favorites - this time I didn't get to efficiently transfer the weight so that I could land on my head without landing my feet on the floor, but I am not stressing. I was tired anyway, and that's the best I could do.

It just feels good to practice.

I noticed that regular practice does change you. Especially strength. I came to yoga knowing where I am lacking (strength) and wonder if I'd ever really get to gain it. And now, harder poses seem easier - bakasana, chaturangga, Tolasana, upward plank - and less of a struggle. I am looking forward when other things - like my tight hamstrings - would soften over time and practice.

yo

Stopped practicing for 4 days now. Thanks to my sister's wedding. InsyaAllah will start practising Primary tonight. Will sleep early as well to wake up early and practice. I want to try to lead a discplined ashtanga life. Gee that sounds cultish but you know what I mean.