Wednesday practice

My regular LED ashtanga class was ok yesterday, except that I let my mind wander off in certain poses. I hate how amazingly true it is: the fact that your state of mind decides how your practice is going to be for that day. I started the practice with an intention: DO NOT SHOW OFF. Which is usually the case when I realize that the other is less flexible/strong than me. This is why I love the home practice: where I have no one to compare to and can be truly myself, or the Mysore style class: where everyone is better than me and I am only one soul doing her job.

Of course there was this one lady who was already good in primary series, the other lady super flexible but that's about it. I felt some sort of a Hah! moment whenever she couldn't do what I could, and sure enough my balance faltered, I was unable to do it, I became stupid. Like Bhupidasana, was too eager to show her what I've got and I ended up being horribly stuck like never before coming down and unable to lift up. Humility.

Yin was awful. I suffered more in yin than in any other class. We did shoulder openers and I hate the Sphinx. Never really know whether to resign to the pose or use muscles to hold my shoulders.

One thing I know though: my body's betting better and stronger. I am also showing aversion in oily, nontasty food. Been thinking of being a vegetarian but I still do enjoy the meat. Maybe I should cut down.

Teeny Improvements

Last night s promised: Full Ashtanga, with modifications.

When i say Full ashtanga to me it literally meant I did 99% of the poses until Savasana. But a Real Great Full Ashtanga for me would be doing it completely with the vinyasas. I've since stopped doing full vinyasa but maybe I should incorporate that into my practice because I love how lengthy it is and how torturous the process goes. I guess I do feel like I've done 'work' after a particularly hard toil. I especially love how it calms the mind ans strengthen it when I am struggling. This kind of reminds me of my triathlon training days - long miles on the road, heavy hills, overly fatigue body, with nothing but your mind pushing you forward.

Yesterday I did only a Lolasana in lieu of a vinyasa. And there were moments where I could 'feel' the lolasana working - when my body lift up effortlessly and nearly did a full back swing - and the feeling was awesome. But it came and went, and I spent the rest of the practice working on liftig my body up in a tight package. My standing poses were strong and good, I noticed I felt balance, grounded and strong in all the poses. This was a surprise because late night practice usually makes me very unstable and scattered.

My Bhujapindasana was a bit disappointing, I still feel hard effort to rest my forehead on the floor without cramping my right foot. My Upavistha Konasana feels stronger, and I could straighten my legs a little now. Doing the Urdvha Dhanurasana still hurts, but at least I could hold on to longer.

Full practice today!

3 days rest

The last practice I did was on Friday, which was an intro class, for which I was grateful. My upper back was pretty sore from the practice and I could feel a burning pain starting at the left rotator cuff, so I was glad for the teacher's slow paced instruction and her skipping the vinyasa between postures.

We practiced the vinyasa to supta konasana where you need to land on your calves without smacking your heels and with your legs straight. I couldn't do it. Others could, but I find that my legs tend to bend and my heels crash first.

Yesterday didn't do it at all due to some other activity. I miss it, and will try to do it tonight.

Mastering the mind

Yesterday was really crazy class - crazy but good.

Went for an Ashtanga LED class with a full on tension in my neck from bracing the traffic, thank God the class have yet to start.

We went with Kino, whose short and (sometimes) very fast countings kept my heart rate waaayyy up and nearly gasping for breath. It was beautiful, not much thoughts were given, I was simply going through the motions. At some points ego and cockiness seeped into my heart, especially after a sucessful binding of Mary D, but I tried the hardest to kick them out. For fonishing sequence, instead of doing the modifications like at home, I opted for the invigorating Vaparita Karani until Fish, which I did a modified fish. Tolasana - or Uplutihih - was great as usual.

Then moved on to Yin yoga. A replacement teacher was in and she was pretty loud, quite a contrast with what the class suggests. But her poses were CRAZYYY. we did forward bend which was held for 5 minutes and it was crazy. Painful, good painful. Then the best part - lizard pose. I was struggling with it the whole time. The teacher said something like, "Yin teaches you to master your mind," and I was tyring to control my thoughts but all I got was THIS FUCKING HURTS.

We were encouraged not to use props at all if we could but the point is to relax completely so I of course succumbed to props. I have given up on showing off after the injury. then it was happy baby and the sphinx. Good massages.

Looking forward for today's lovely and quiet yoga. I'm going to still work on the backbends. Slowly.

Restorative Yoga

Last night I did an easy, slow, relaxing one hour plus yoga.

Followed the home practice sequence from yoga journal:

downward dog

triangle pose

extended side angle

half moon pose

janu sirsasana

bound angle pose

reclining pose

then continued to

sphinx

baby cobra

cobra

locust

bow

camel

bridge

more upper back opener with a chair. Releases the tension in my neck.

cat and cow.

worked on a few neck poses - thread the needle, etc. some shoulder opening poses from yogatic.

I forgot to do the dolphin sequence. will do it later.

it was a good one hour, to work on my poses, things I dont usually do if I do ashtanga.

Primary Monday

I was so tired last night. Tired and sleepy. But I came home thinking that maybe I'll just do the standing sequence, and while doing the Surya Namaskara I was thinking maybe I'll do the primary but without the vinyasas, and in the end I did a complete one.

Practice was ok, but because I was tired, I sometimes stop for a while to take a breather. I think it took me 3 hours from start to finish - and by finish I mean complete finish, after the backbends prep, the neck and shoulder rolls.

I focused on tucking my legs into my body in a tight package instead of having them spread apart across my chest when I lift up and jump back. Jump backs and throughs are pretty nonexistent, but surprisingly it doesnt really bother me. I trust that they come when the body is ready and when they want to come. Same goes for Bhujapindasana - one of my favorites - this time I didn't get to efficiently transfer the weight so that I could land on my head without landing my feet on the floor, but I am not stressing. I was tired anyway, and that's the best I could do.

It just feels good to practice.

I noticed that regular practice does change you. Especially strength. I came to yoga knowing where I am lacking (strength) and wonder if I'd ever really get to gain it. And now, harder poses seem easier - bakasana, chaturangga, Tolasana, upward plank - and less of a struggle. I am looking forward when other things - like my tight hamstrings - would soften over time and practice.

yo

Stopped practicing for 4 days now. Thanks to my sister's wedding. InsyaAllah will start practising Primary tonight. Will sleep early as well to wake up early and practice. I want to try to lead a discplined ashtanga life. Gee that sounds cultish but you know what I mean.

V-Day workout! Pure Love

Yesterday was a lovely night. It was Valentine's day, and what made it sweeter was my husband asked me out for a run. Can you believe it? I agreed to the idea because I have always loved starting my primary series with more than just a surya namaskara warmup. Sometimes my legs have yet to warm up and that causes the hamstrings to get tight.

After the run I skipped doing a complete 5 rounds of surya namaskara, doing only one each. I started fast. Standing poses were light and easy, I felt no deep struggle than the usual. Utthita Eka Padasana as expected, gave me a workout on the right leg lifted up, I have no idea why. Getting into the seated poses it was good, just a slight resistance in Janu Sirasana B, mary d was okay. I wasn't as strong to deliver Bhujapindasana, but my Supta Kurmasana was near perfect! I crossed my ankles and the legs naturally lifted off and over my head. My Garbha Pindasana was okay, but my Kukkutasana took me a couple of tries, which I wasn't happy, but I didn't push it. I wanted to attempt to do a Chakrasana... but the fear over my neck stopped me. I have to develop my upper body strength first to attempt this.

finishing sequence as usual - modified shoulderstand, plough, ear to knees, lotus ear to knees, and fish. I managed to do 2 wheel pose though, after a warmup by doing bridge. And then I worked on the forearm glides and pumps and dolphin pose to strengthen my shoulders.

After savasana, I worked on my backbends - camel pose, modified kapotasana, bridge and on a chair upper backbend. I also worked on the modifed handstand. It was good work and I am happy.

I feel like wanting to take it slow with my backbend, just playing around with the poses until I am fully open in the back. I also need to take my time in jump back and jump throughs - more lolasana.

I am happy with my practice. It keeps me grounded.

Home Practicee

Have not been doing yoga since last Friday, until yesterday.

Decided to give my body a rest. Especially my shoulders and arm. I have been pounding on them for a long while now. With physio, chiro and Sunday - a painful massage. That was good though. I do feel a little bit better.

Yesterday was really enjoying my ashtanga but had to cut it short due to my sister wanting to have dinner with me. I did up until Janu Sirsasana C. I finished with Supported Shoulderstand, with towels and blankets folded and lined up along the top of my shoulders. It did feel easy on the neck, and though when I tried the Urdhva Padmasana and onwards I began to feel the weight bearing so I stopped. NO MORE.

Today I planned to do the full sequence, and continue to work on my forearm glide and pump and vertical hold. And then some camel poses and Wheel against the wall thing.

Variation

Intro class today. As usual I enjoyed it but now I'm thinking into re-looking my practice. Doing the other hatha class and the yin class has kinda make me feel that maybe I should diversify my practice so my body does not get pounded too much too often. God knows I am prone to repetitive stress injuries.

Also, I think doing Intro is making me hard to not stay humble. It's different form mysore class, where I am a beginner, and I wasn't focused on anyone else, but doing Intro made me compare myself against others. I can't help it; it's just the competitive gene in me. I think a normal home practice would suffice.

I'm a paying member of 2 classes per week, and I can't decide whether I want to do the inversion classes or maintain one intro class or do a yin and a hatha.

Monday: Rest

Tuesday: Ashtanga

Wednesday: Ashtanga and Yin

Thursday: Hatha

Friday: Ashtanga

Saturday: Run, swim or cycle

Sunday: Cycle and Ashtanga

Still doing Viparita Karani as inversions. Dabbled with a bit of Halasana today, nothing major. Modified my fish.

Working on opening my back at the same time. It's not coming - doing the Wheel against the wall still felt stiff and achy. I do not want to push into it, do not want my lower back to hurt of all the places. Will work on doing Camel pose and Bow pose and Cobra. As well as my Forearm pump and glide, vertical hold, etc.

Namaste!

Youtube Teachers

Been following and enjoying youtube channel of a favorite online yoga teacher of mine - Esther Ekhart. I first found her when I was googling for Crow pose tutorial and she gave a very comprehensive preparation on how to do a safe crow pose. I ended up following Jason Crendell's tutorial but kept coming back to Esther because her videos are always good, relaxing and now i only realize the benefits of preparations.

My current favorite teachers: Sadie Sardini, Esther Ekhart, and Kathryn Budig and Jason Crendell. I also like Kino, but who doesn't?

My body feels tired and spent today. I really think it's yin yoga yesterday. We held the pose for 5 minutes and some poses were painful... good painful.

Yesterday was also my Ashtanga LED and it was good. I worked on my breathing and it is coming along beautifully.

falling in love again

I have fallen in love with yoga again, even with ashtanga.

Been starting over again with my practice. This time I'm taking other classes as well, just to balance out the demanding rigors of ashtanga. A normal and basic hatha class, and a yin class. It was nice. I have accepted the fact that my ashtanga practice will never be the same - never be able to do the same finishing sequence again. But I think this is what my yoga means to me. A means of self discovery and development, a practice where I can find a balance between loving my self, honoring my body and respecting my capabilities.

I have asked and researched and this is what I deduced:

Never an unsupported shoulderstand again. I have to do it propped on a blanket.

Half plough pose.

Knees to head, supported.

Lotus supported.

Fish supported.

All this until my neck are healed. Maybe in March.

Relearning Yoga

I have to re learn my yoga. In doing that, I have to relearn my ego.

Got my MRI results. I have a disc herniation at the c5 and c6, which basically means I have a slipped disc at those two places. Thanks to alll the endless finishing sequences I did - the embryo the plough, the knees to ear thingy. I felt it on my neck - no pain just pressure, but that was enough to cause the rupture of the sac, especially when I do it everyday for more than 5 counts of breathing. My only consolation is that it isn't bad enough to affect my nerve. That's when it will get real bad for me.

So. I have to re adjust my yoga practice. Especially my Ashtanga. I have become addicted, reliant and dependable on it. I LOVE - still do - the finishing sequence because it is something I am good at. But I guess for the sake of my body I have to learn to how do them without hurting my body. Ahimsa - do no harm, right?

I will have to so a modified

- shoulderstand: with blankets aligned to the top of my shoulders.

- plow pose: with blankets aligned.

- fish pose: bolster.

And then I will continue with the exercise as mentioned in this article:

- plank glide

- plank pump

- vertical hold: dolphin plank to half headstand.

- headstand support: without legs, with legs